This week's been weird, and I didn't even realize that yesterday was the first Wednesday of the month! I'll try to do some visiting today.
Bizarre. Part of the problem is that I haven't been in my own space. I've been visiting (in a sense) and while I've still been working just fine I haven't been sleeping well.
I need my own place. I'm so much more comfortable when I can just crawl into my hole and pull it in after me.
Which is the problem, of course. Although I would prefer to be a solitary writer, I need people as well. The more I isolate myself the more I want to isolate myself. The first three days here were really difficult. I had to actually talk to people outside my family, in an unfamiliar place, and I had a stupid headache because of the stress. I can do that, on a certain level, for a while. At LTUE the first two days were fine. The headache hit when the crowd tripled on the third day.
It took me time to realize that I had stiffened up, that I was subconsciously trying to push people away. They were in my SPACE, and I had tried to put up a brick wall between us, where I could hide.
I imagined my shield as being impermeable but flexible, and the headache went away.
It's an odd balance, between being totally isolated and needing people, between wanting to crawl away and hide in a crowd but enjoying the interaction. Maybe it's not even a balance. Maybe I'm just crazy.
I actually find that being isolated from people makes it a lot more difficult for me to write. Maybe because I'm so insecure about it that I need to be around others who are feeling the same way to reassure myself that it's not just me going crazy. But you're totally right. Sometimes you get into a space and just don't want anyone to disturb you. Writing doesn't have to be a lonely endeavor!
ReplyDeleteEveryone has their own ways. I have to write alone, and preferably with the surroundings as quiet as possible. But I also like interaction. Mainly with other writers, yes, to convince myself that I'm not alone in this craziness!
DeleteLauren
I'm so glad I found your blog through IWSG. You've got some pretty cool stuff here!
ReplyDeleteAnyway, yeah, it's weird about the solitary thing. Sometimes I can't wait to be alone so that I can write, and then once I am finally alone, I'm lonely!
It's interesting to see that other writer/artist types experience that too.
I'm a solitary writer, and an introvert. But sometimes I just need to be around people. Weird.
ReplyDeleteYes, it is nice to know I'm not the only strange one.
Lauren
I'm like that too. I need my own time and my own space, and I get frustrated when I'm around people too much...or around too many people. But then I'll wake up one morning and crave interaction. Then I crawl back into my writing cave. What can I do?
ReplyDeleteEnjoy it, I suppose. In my own case, it's not likely to go away any time soon.
DeleteLauren
"The more I isolate myself the more I want to isolate myself." --I totally know what you are talking about! I love being with people, but once I start isolating myself, I just want to isolate myself more. It's weird.
ReplyDeleteAnd if I let it continue it just gets worse until I stop wanting to be around people. I have to force myself out of that as soon as I realize it's happening.
DeleteLauren
Nope. I'm exactly the same. Love people, but crowds become trying after a while.
ReplyDeleteHope you can settle down and get some good writing done soon.
Didn't get any writing done today, but that's my own fault. I left my comfort zone. :)
DeleteI always get a little anxious before a conference or other event with lots of people, too, and sometimes it's draining on me, but as much as I need my alone time to revamp, I also need to be around people sometimes, too, need the interaction and connections. I've been going to these conferences for so long I know enough people now that I always have someone to talk to and it's fun. I always meet new, interesting people too. I tend to want to isolate myself as well and stay in my comfort zone, but then I get bored. I have to continually challenge myself to do things that are hard or scary and it's gotten easier over time, but I still stress about it.
ReplyDeleteI think that's part of life, though. Stepping away from the familiar.
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