Politically Correct Santa Clause

I'm getting hits every day for "Politically Correct Santa Claus" (without an e :) so I figured I'd repost it. I wrote this for WritingSnippets in 2010, then reposted on Eclectic December of 2011.


The next step in the atheistic politically correct change spree will be to change the name of Santa Claus. It's SOOOOO politically incorrect and cheuvanistic to specify a gender for the religion-neutral...oops. NOT religion neutral? Can't have "Santa," because that means Saint, can't say "Father" because it's not gender neutral. Nor "Christmas" (as in "Father Christmas") because that references an organization that is in itself (according to the change-spree-ists) politically incorrect. Hm...

So we'll call the politically correct, gender neutral, religion neutral version Parent Holiday, but that both has the word "Holy," and the word "parent," which suggests a system of adult superiority.

Ah, Winter Person!

Rats. Can't have the word son and be gender neutral, and using "win" could insult all the losers out there...so the mid-cold-season festival-representative will now be called Terper!

:/ Sea-son. Ick. This could get complicated.

The halfway-between-spring-and-fall (now known as Faceplant) festival-representative will now be called Terper!

Don't forget to hang up your stockings!