Just start moving
In June of 2011 I learned of a new position opening up. I tried to determine if this was something I was supposed to do (I was still resisting) and my answers were ambiguous at best. So not knowing what else to do, I applied and interviewed for the position.
By this time I had reached my financial goal, which would allow me to live for one year without any income. I didn't think about it at the time. I applied for the position and I felt good about the interview, but something wasn't right.
“What if,” I told myself, “what if I take this job and then in a week I need to quit?” I was still obsessed with being directed (which is something I continue to struggle with) expecting that I would be told when to move, and where to move, that everything would be dumped in my lap as it always had before.
Then I got called in for a second interview, and I was still upset, concerned, wondering if this was the right thing. It wouldn't let go.
Other things were going on at the same time that made my decision even harder, made me less willing to let go of that stable center and step into the dark.
Then I picked up a copy of the Ensign.
I read a lot, but I normally don't read a magazine from front to back. For some reason this time I did, going through each article and reading even the credits.
It was a story that caught my attention and brought everything into focus.
The story was about a group of firefighters who were dropped behind the fireline. They were given a radio and the dispatcher was to tell them where to go to fight the fire.
They tried the radio and got static. A few minutes later they tried again, with the same result.
Hours later, when the other teams reached them, they explained their difficulty. The man who had approached them grabbed the radio, walked a short way down the path, turned it on and got the dispatcher, loud and clear. He walked back and told them, “You're in a dead-zone. If you'd just started walking, you would have gotten your instructions.
It hit me like a ton of bricks. Just start walking.
Just start walking.
It was time for me to step into the dark.
Lessons Learned #3